I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
