Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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