I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
wow bdsm is so cute
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
