Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
