respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
