How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Randomize
