tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
