I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
