Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
