I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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