ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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