In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
