if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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