She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
