? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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