Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize