Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Randomize