someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
