So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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