and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
