as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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