I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
