If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
