Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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