some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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