I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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