one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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