I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize