we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
My pussy is not your playground.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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