We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
