OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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