dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize
