So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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