In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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