someone get that fucking seahorse.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I need water and some morals
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
