I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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