wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
