Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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