Swine flu is the new snow day.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Randomize
