Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have grass duct taped all over my body
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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