I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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