last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
