On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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