Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
YAS. BRING CRAB.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
