please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
