I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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