I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
