You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
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where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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