awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I bet he comes in French.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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