I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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