the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
