Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
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