Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize