Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
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