If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
