The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
