My boss' voice literally gives me gas
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Randomize
